Sex Academy Blog

Sex Academy Blog

Autoeroticism: The magic of naming and touching ourselves!

When we talk about autoeroticism we refer to the ability to have a loving relationship with ourselves, to be able to eroticize our mind and senses, to look at our body with curiosity, and to dedicate quality time and energy, just as we do when we decide to share our body with others.

Autoeroticism is not just about masturbation! but rather with dedicating yourself a space of self-care and well-being, to put it in a nutshell, a space to pamper yourself. But something we tend to forget is that for autoeroticism to exist, we must first be able to have a connection with our body, with all parts of our body.

I propose that you do the following exercise, write a list of all the names you know to refer to the vulva. Now list all the names we give to the penis. Finally, think of other names with which we indicate the eyes, knees, or hands.

Heavy isn’t it? It is almost a fact that you will not find more than two or three terms to refer to your eyes, knees, or hands, but when we talk about our genitals, especially the vulva, we come up with a lot of names, many of them with negative connotations or silly diminutive. Calling all parts of the body by name has a sense of importance that is seldom imagined. Naming helps us to have a mental representation of the area and to develop a real connection with our body, to see sexuality as something natural and with the value of caring, respecting, and also feeling pleasure. In the case of the penis, it has an advantage and it is that we have had it incorporated into our collective imagination for many years. We see and name it, probably many more times than we would like or even notice.

On the other hand, the vulva remains invisible, we are always reducing its value, we have found a way not to name it, to minimize its importance, to erase it, put it in the background.

With all this, and laying the foundation from the word, we find ourselves as adult women and people with a vulva unable to name, observe, explore, care for and respect a part of their body as important as the vulva. For this reason, I propose that you begin to see it, to feel it, to make it part of your self-care rituals and so that your autoeroticism is not limited by fear or by taboo.

Some ideas that we can apply to take care of our autoeroticism.

  • Touch not only your genitals but your entire body!  use a lavender-scented cream that has relaxing properties or coconut oil and run your hands over your skin. From your toes, through your armpits, eyelashes and scalp, explore those areas where you do not think erotically to see what wonders you discover.
  • Let your body speak, allow sounds, sighs or moans to come out, it will help you to let go of control and take control of the pleasure.
  • Move on! You can dance, move the muscles of your pelvis and belly, feel how the movement produces heat and energy.

Giving yourself an autoerotic session from time to time is highly beneficial, it allows you to get closer to your sexuality from a place of pure enjoyment and synergy with your body, your mind.

Remember that naming your vulva and give it a space in your life and love, is one more way to reap autoeroticism.